Monogamy vs. Polyamory in the 21st Century

Reading Time: 2 Minutes

\\ Some History

In 1978, Legendary Afrobeat King Fela Anikulapo Kuti married 27 wives in a custom supported by the Yoruba tradition. In 1986 he would divorce them all, claiming no man should own a woman’s body –

Image from: Afropunk.com

\\ Today

Countless laws and cultures have tried to dictate how African people should love and marry. For a more modern point of view, we joined @tint_za to hear what relationships (in Braam) really look like in 2020.

First of all, “monogamy” is a style of relationshipping where you’re involved with only one person at a time. This is sometimes called the ‘going steady’.

“Polyamory” (sometimes, ‘polygamy’) is the practice of having sexual or romantic relationships with two or more people at the same time. This is called many things…

The idea is that different people have different relationshipping structures that work for them. And while monogamy has almost always been the social standard, both monogamous and polyamorous individuals are capable of finding love & building families of their own. 

” For me, transparency has always been comfortable. And honesty just felt easier in a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory is also not jealous or possessive. “

Many people discover their preference after meeting different people and getting exposed to new cultures/ dating experiences. While both monogamy and polyamory come with a level of self awareness that teaches relationshippers about themselves – and how they interact with others. 

“ Monogamy is the commitment that follows the feeling of love. It’s not necessarily a rule. It’s really just (2) people picking what works for them. “

Relationships, and the people we choose to spend our lives with are serious topics. Some people may know right away, while other people go through their whole lives without really discovering their preference.

While we couldn’t find actual ‘rules’ about relationshipping, we did find some unspoken laws – like being transparent with your partner. No matter what works for you. 

Other things we found were:

  • Every relationship has its challenges and requires effort to work. Whether it’s monogamy or polygamy.
  • When done right, monogamy is not always jealous and possessive. 
  • The only rule is consent. 

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And that’s it.

Here at the J&B Hive, we don’t just push your hustle – we also talk about conversations that live within our culture and shape our society. For more engaging discussions (you should really start coming to these things) follow @tint_za. And don’t forget to checkout @hivejoburg

Spread Love.

Written by: Lungelo Hlela (I am Multeemedia) // Images taken by: @dayphotolife

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Lungelo Hlela is a Digital Copywriter based in Johannesburg, South Africa. When he’s not writing for brands, most of his work includes themes about social issues, history and popular culture. Follow him @lungelosam for more of his existentialist ramblings and romantic ideals.

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